Humour

Of robot cats and cuteness

T A Balasubramanian on Byramji’s mission to investigate the new line of intelligent human companion robots.

Doodh Byramji, better known as Doodh, or Doodhi, is the dauntless design engineer from Baffle Technologies. Here, he continues recording in his diary, his experiences on his mission to find out what new wonders are being spawned inside the seclusion of Ironica Robotica’s Bangalore laboratory, which is dedicated to bringing the robotic revolution into the corporate playground.

Presently, he is in conversation, or at least trying to be, with three beautiful women from Robotica—Prof Ironica Asimova, the Founder and Head of the firm, and two members from her staff, Senior Researcher Nina Nilgiri, and Lola Lipton, Chief Designer and Head of the biodynotics team that developed Chaibo, the tea-serving robot.

11.00 am: It’s a rare event. A guy like me, accustomed to dabbling in geeky software and boring hardware, is not often caught up in the middle of such a group of brainy and lovely girls, but who am I to complain?

“Hello Doodh,” says Nina, laughing in that special way I recalled well, even as she pats my cheek. “Is everything OK with Chaibo?” She is wearing a checked blue A-line skirt with a black top that looks stunning.

I mumble something about early-stage robots and their tendency to need constant attention, but there is a new distraction. “Oh, we meet again, Doodhi,” simpers Lola, with her hands on her slim waist. Dressed in apple green slacks and a pale green shirt, she looks equally beautiful as she too, reaches out and pats me.

My cheeks turn a delicate shade of pink, I am told, when handled in such a manner by multiple slender feminine hands.

Ironica looks at me with a sympathetic smile. “Oh, Doodh, you have the company of two of my best officers, so I will take leave of you now. But before I do, let me tell you about this creature here at your feet—he’s called Nikita, and he’s the latest prototype from our line of intelligent human companion robots. But of course, he has already taken a liking to you, it seems,” she says picking up the robotic cat that has been steadily purring and circling around my shoes.

“Oh, he’s adorable and fuzzy, Prof Asimova,” I say, reaching out to pet the cat’s furry head, which feels no different from the real thing. “Almost like a real feline, except for the occasional whirring electrical sound when he moves around.”

“Ah, that odd sound will go out in the next version, Doodh. But he is designed to be adorable and fuzzy as you note already,” says Ironica, as she softly strokes the orange-cream coat of Nikita before handing him over to Lola. She waves to us before going inside the frosted glass door.

As Nikita purrs, Lola takes up the thread. “He’s actually a semi-realistic cat-robot for office and home use, packed with visual, auditory and movement-sensitive sensors and weighing 3 kilograms—as much as a normal cat. But you cannot make out all that since we found a way to conceal all the electronics under the natural-looking fur.”

“I was just reading a story in the Ironica Style magazine about why the Japanese want their robots to act more like humans, but you seem to have pets here that act more like perfect pets,” I say, dividing my attention democratically between Lola and Nina. “There is something very non-catty about a too-perfect cat, I would think. Maybe people would find these creatures less messy to have around, needing less maintenance and grooming and feeding and so forth, but isn’t that part of the charm of owning a pet in the first place? Or is this the way ahead—more and more perfect petty robots, pardon the pun?”

“A cat that has the attributes of a cat, and a few more features you won’t find in a feline, but none of the flaws, so to speak, is not a petty thing to create, Doodh,” says Lola, laughing. “The design gives us more confidence as we get one step closer to our ultimate goal of making humanoid robots that will behave so much like humans that you won’t be able to detect them easily in a crowd of actual people. It’s all about perfecting our mastery over simulating a variety of stimuli to touch human sensibilities.”

“Omigosh, look at him. He is too cute, isn’t he?” says Nina, lifting up Nikita from Lola’s hands by the scruff of his neck as he yawns realistically. The creature meows gently and curls up, closing his liquid brown eyes in apparent relaxation.

I look on with a feeling of envy for the comfortably settled little lifelike gadget as Nina smooches him and holds him close to her cheek.

“Here at Robotica, we are experimenting with bringing out human companion creations and we thought the best models, to start with, may be pets like dogs and cats. In our long history of human association with these creatures, they have become adapted to our sensibilities. We find the behaviours of pets useful to create means of making robotic creatures more likeable, even cute, as Nina says,” explains Lola. “Even the yawn is programmed to please,” she giggles.

“Cuteness has many uses, Ms Lipton, I mean, Lola,” I say philosophically, using her first name with a slight pause to check her response. “Especially with the female of the human species. Talk about stimuli,” I sigh.

Lola laughs, while Nina pretends to glare at me. “When it comes to cute, humans are easy to please, Doodh,” she continues, as we all sit down around a conference table.

“It is all part of nature’s strategy to make us want to care for helpless infants, you see. Scientists who study the evolution of visual signalling have identified a wide and still-expanding assortment of features and behaviours that make something cute, as Nina will explain to you,” says Lola, watching as Nikita puts his head on his paws and pretends to snooze on the tabletop.