Manage-Wise

The art of cross-cultural negotiation

People skills and relationship-building is critical in negotiation because each of us is different. Each of us has a unique background and different experiences that play out when we negotiate. These differences include (but certainly aren’t limited) to where we grew up, where we work, our school history, and the people in our lives. Even in the same family, a mother’s experience and her daughter’s may be quite different and they may be negotiating across a cultural gap.

When negotiations break down, however—regardless of how different the parties are—the cause is often not these differences themselves, but the misunderstanding and miscommunication that comes from not being able to see the world through the other party’s eyes. Why not bring the positive, open-minded lessons from cross-cultural negotiations into everyday negotiations? To deal well with another individual means understanding the way that person sees the world. At a minimum, negotiating requires not offending another person’s sensibilities. Effective negotiating means being able to build a working relationship that encompasses respect for and understanding of another’s beliefs. To treat all negotiations as cross-cultural is to question your own assumptions, enhance communication, and discover the cultural gaps that need to be filed in with understanding, empathy and respect as you build an agreement.

Earlier, I discussed building a bridge to the other party as you make commitments. I will now provide strategies to cross the cultural gap between negotiators.

Assume you don’t know everything

Test what you learn. When you travel to a foreign country you are most likely to question your assumptions about how to appropriately interact with people. You might become more sensitive to the impact of your words and behaviour. You might ask more questions. This mindset can be useful for any negotiation. By taking a more honestly inquisitive and curious mindset, you are less likely to miscommunicate or misunderstand. Check your understanding, ask follow-up questions, dig for underlying rationale, and regularly summarise progress in your negotiation.

Acknowledge that your perceptions are limited

Share your perceptions as perceptions. In an explicitly cross-cultural situation, you are more likely to assume there is something you’re missing, that you don’t have all the information, or that there’s a history you aren’t aware of. Perhaps you will recognise that because your nationality is different, you just see things differently. Why not think more like this in your everyday negotiations?

In everyday negotiations, you are more likely to sense you are right and the other party is, well, not as right. Negotiation can only succeed when you and your negotiating partner learn how you each perceive a situation in a unique way.

Tell your story and listen to theirs

Keep in mind that individuals negotiate, not cultures. Rather than assuming or projecting your understanding of someone else, share what makes you “you” and listen to the other person’s story as well.

Everything they say and do communicates their story. Ask questions to learn more. At the same time, help the other party by sharing your story, what is important to you, and how you have become the negotiator you are. Often this storytelling takes place away from the table in an informal setting. Don’t underestimate the value of these opportunities.

Understand intent, but share impact

When words or actions surprise you—especially if they run counter to your sensibilities—attempt to understand the intent or purpose of the person. Ask a simple question like, “I’m not sure what you’re trying to achieve. It would help me if I could learn more about your goals here.” Share the impact on you of a given statement to help the other person understand and to move the conversation forward.

Learn about the other party’s “culture”

It helps to understand the cultures—corporate, governmental, family, and so on—of the people you interact with. Knowing this can help prevent miscommunication and misunderstanding, and can help smooth interactions. It can also demonstrate an effort to build rapport. Many negotiators extol the value of informal time spent together: “We get more done during lunch than we do during the formal meeting.” At the same time, be careful with this knowledge. Having information about a person’s culture can be misleading and even wrong when applied to a particular individual. Use this information to increase understanding, test assumptions, and increase empathy.

Perceptions of power

Individuals often perceive each other through the lens of power. Awareness of this can help break through the walls that perceptions of power can create. Distrust and suspicion are often combined with perceptions of power, so be sensitive of this in order to improve relationships.

If you’re concerned that someone distrusts you because you are in position of power, inclusiveness may reduce distrust. Say things like, “Before we approach this problem, I want to make sure I get everyone’s input.” Be more transparent and explicit about goals, agenda, and motives to help prevent misunderstanding and suspicion. Monitor whether the individual across the table feels respected. Showing respect will help you frame what you say and do in ways that build rapport.

Build trust

Do things early on to build trust in your relationship. Give the other person an advance, if necessary be willing to trust if they aren’t yet. When a gap exists because you don’t know each other, there may be no trust or perhaps even mistrust. You cannot control how trusting the other person is, but you can control how trustworthy you are. Your trustworthy behaviour can help build the bridge. Give your counterpart the benefit of the doubt to create a grace period for bridge building.

Set your own culture

Perhaps the best thing you can focus on to do all of the above is to look at your own background. This is not as easy as it sounds. Your own culture is often invisible to you but plainly visible to others.

Dealing with someone different from you and truly understanding how they see you may raise issues you may never have dealt before. The greater your personal insight, the more likely you will be able to see who you are to others.

When you spend time in another culture, you have the chance to see beyond generalisations and experience the intricacies of that culture.

The take-home message in cross-cultural negotiating is to be honest, open and sensitive. The more you will see and understand your differences and commonalities, and the better able you will be to work together toward a constructive, mutually satisfying solution.

Excerpt from 'The Negotiation Fieldbook' by Grande Lum.
Reproduced with permission © 2005, Tata McGraw-Hill Publishing Company Limited. Price: Rs 275.
E-mail: vishwanath_mum@tatamcgraw-hill.com